Sagdavtonlag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, almighty ant.

Sagdavtonlag created an atom seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagdavtonlag, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sagdavtonlag, it will curse you with boils.

Sagdavtonlag's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Sagdavtonlag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in white rooms.

2. Never run in the presence of cats.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Never skip near sharks.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.