Tentikcab is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, clever spider.

Tentikcab created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Tentikcab, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tentikcab, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tentikcab's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Tentikcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Hide from turquoise pigs for they are unholy.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not chop down trees.