Pidzobfat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, amazing aardvark.

Pidzobfat created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pidzobfat, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pidzobfat, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Pidzobfat's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Pidzobfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into fawn rooms.

2. Do not take Pidzobfat's name in vain.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not chop down trees.