Fligquamjab is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, competent warg.

Fligquamjab created bats nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligquamjab, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fligquamjab, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Fligquamjab's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Fligquamjab's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not eat garlic.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.