Yimzoddiss is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unthinking human.

Yimzoddiss created a quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yimzoddiss, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yimzoddiss, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Yimzoddiss' most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Yimzoddiss' Holy Commandments

1. Put Yimzoddiss first in all things.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Feed all hungry swans.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Do not wear gray clothing.