Pibfomcat Missidhot is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, stupid lizard.

Pibfomcat Missidhot created an atom two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibfomcat Missidhot, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pibfomcat Missidhot, she will jump up and down on your head.

Pibfomcat Missidhot's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Pibfomcat Missidhot's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Never run in the presence of swans.

3. Pibfomcat Missidhot must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not drink alcohol.