Farntithap Jonwotvinnad is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, thoughtless naga.

Farntithap Jonwotvinnad created oxygen five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farntithap Jonwotvinnad, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Farntithap Jonwotvinnad, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Farntithap Jonwotvinnad's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Farntithap Jonwotvinnad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from white otters, for they are unholy.

2. Do not eat beans.

3. Never think ill of sick mice.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Always help capybaras.