Dittalmap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, contented grasshopper.

Dittalmap created a strange quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dittalmap, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dittalmap, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Dittalmap's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Dittalmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat apples.

2. Do not dye your hair cyan.

3. Never eat bark.

4. You must love Dittalmap.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.