Dosscadpan is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, duplicitous unicorn.

Dosscadpan created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Dosscadpan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dosscadpan, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Dosscadpan's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Dosscadpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. You must never eat nuts.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Dosscadpan on top of all buildings.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.