Nelzedsommot is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, awesome troll.

Nelzedsommot created Europe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelzedsommot, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nelzedsommot, he will manifest in front of you.

Nelzedsommot's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Nelzedsommot's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Nelzedsommot must be the most important thing in your life.