Nelkanfly is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, pitiless fox.

Nelkanfly created a photon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nelkanfly, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nelkanfly, he will send minions to preach to you.

Nelkanfly's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Nelkanfly's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured cats.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Nelkanfly loves mites, so they must be honoured.

4. Put Nelkanfly first in all things.

5. Do not hurt dogs.