Fumnattad is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, overgenerous jaguar.

Fumnattad created the planet Saturn eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumnattad, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fumnattad, it will make you grow a tail.

Fumnattad's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Fumnattad's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Fumnattad seven times a day.

2. Always help sick dolphins.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.