Quagjabjen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, competent fly.

Quagjabjen created life seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagjabjen, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quagjabjen, he will turn you into a mouse.

Quagjabjen's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Quagjabjen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine great tits approach from the west.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never mention squirrels.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Quagjabjen on top of important buildings.