Tunquartarp is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, witless dove.

Tunquartarp created the universe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tunquartarp, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tunquartarp, she will turn you into a mole.

Tunquartarp's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Tunquartarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Never wear magenta scarves.

3. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Otters are not to be trusted.