Ladspagstaf Riplakzogfonfun is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, intelligent parrot.

Ladspagstaf Riplakzogfonfun created life two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladspagstaf Riplakzogfonfun, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ladspagstaf Riplakzogfonfun, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Ladspagstaf Riplakzogfonfun's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Ladspagstaf Riplakzogfonfun's Holy Commandments

1. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never feed peanuts to seals while wearing violet kilts.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

5. Always take life seriously.