Ominnaknurlyamcut is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, tiresome hippopotamus.

Ominnaknurlyamcut created a strange quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Ominnaknurlyamcut, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ominnaknurlyamcut, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Ominnaknurlyamcut's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Ominnaknurlyamcut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Ominnaknurlyamcut on top of all buildings.

3. Do not take Ominnaknurlyamcut's name in vain.

4. Run away if six monkeys approach from the east.

5. Never hurt turtles.