Vagbimfom Fit is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, deceitful fish.

Vagbimfom Fit created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagbimfom Fit, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vagbimfom Fit, he will send minions to preach to you.

Vagbimfom Fit's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Vagbimfom Fit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Put Vagbimfom Fit first in all things.

4. Feed all hungry mites.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.