Watjatquill is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, sage wombat.

Watjatquill created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Watjatquill, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Watjatquill, it will send you a sign.

Watjatquill's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Watjatquill's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never wear pink tights.

5. Do not chop down trees.