Tunpadmeg Camtunjam is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, cheerful pigeon.

Tunpadmeg Camtunjam created energy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tunpadmeg Camtunjam, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tunpadmeg Camtunjam, he will laugh at you.

Tunpadmeg Camtunjam's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Tunpadmeg Camtunjam's Holy Commandments

1. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

2. Never feed carrots to moths while wearing brown rings.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Hide from violet voles for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about fire.