Meggodtofpad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, all-knowing penguin.

Meggodtofpad created vertebrates five billion years ago.

If you believe in Meggodtofpad, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Meggodtofpad, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Meggodtofpad's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Meggodtofpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cucumbers.

2. Do not hurt hamsters.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Do not shave your legs.