Rigvilkiphog is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, witless hummingbird.

Rigvilkiphog created life five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rigvilkiphog, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Rigvilkiphog, he will turn you into a rat.

Rigvilkiphog's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Rigvilkiphog's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never pour water over plants.