Lakcam is a god.

He takes the form of a large, proud wasp.

Lakcam created the solar system five million years ago.

If you believe in Lakcam, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lakcam, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Lakcam's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Lakcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Never mention ducks.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not laugh in public.