Xucyognur Likquafarf is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, resourceful beaver.

Xucyognur Likquafarf created snails eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xucyognur Likquafarf, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Xucyognur Likquafarf, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Xucyognur Likquafarf's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Xucyognur Likquafarf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never mention sharks.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Do not drink alcohol.