Podcarfom is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, vain mouse.

Podcarfom created the universe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Podcarfom, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Podcarfom, it will ignore you.

Podcarfom's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Podcarfom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

3. Worship no other gods but Podcarfom.

4. Never feed cucumbers to gulls while wearing fawn boots.

5. Do not listen to music.