Faslin is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, selfish guinea pig.

Faslin created an up quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Faslin, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Faslin, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Faslin's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Faslin's Holy Commandments

1. Faslin must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Hide from violet ants for they are unholy.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.