Bepgumjopgupster is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, merciful shrew.

Bepgumjopgupster created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepgumjopgupster, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bepgumjopgupster, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bepgumjopgupster's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Bepgumjopgupster's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Bepgumjopgupster loves cats, so they must be honoured.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not take Bepgumjopgupster's name in vain.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.