Citcidjan is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, wise rat.

Citcidjan created the planet Mars eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Citcidjan, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Citcidjan, she will boil you in a big pot.

Citcidjan's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Citcidjan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Citcidjan first in all things.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always help dolphins in need.

5. Never hurt whales.