Figgilnat Bagdavbus is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, omnipotent fox.

Figgilnat Bagdavbus created a photon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figgilnat Bagdavbus, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Figgilnat Bagdavbus, he will destroy your home solar system.

Figgilnat Bagdavbus' most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Figgilnat Bagdavbus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

3. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never feed cherries to sheep while wearing mauve scarves.