Negomtab Hunhug is a god.

It takes the form of a large, merciful turtle.

Negomtab Hunhug created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Negomtab Hunhug, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Negomtab Hunhug, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Negomtab Hunhug's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Negomtab Hunhug's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never think about eukaryotes.

3. Never paint your feet black.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Hide from brown whales for they are unholy.