Quatbissmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, wise centaur.

Quatbissmeg created the cosmos two billion years ago.

If you believe in Quatbissmeg, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quatbissmeg, she will destroy your home planet.

Quatbissmeg's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Quatbissmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not dye your hair cyan.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.