Ortbomgon is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, all-knowing crow.

Ortbomgon created gold four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortbomgon, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ortbomgon, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Ortbomgon's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Ortbomgon's Holy Commandments

1. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Never wear gray jumpers.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near foxes while wearing purple skirts and balancing four iron spheres on your legs.

5. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Ortbomgon in the centre of the settlement.