Tinnartwip Mobhenstigboss is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, tiresome goblin.

Tinnartwip Mobhenstigboss created vertebrates six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinnartwip Mobhenstigboss, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tinnartwip Mobhenstigboss, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tinnartwip Mobhenstigboss' most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Tinnartwip Mobhenstigboss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt horses.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Always wear violet.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Never jump in the presence of squirrels.