Tabbem Ripvanbafpan is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, overgenerous guinea pig.

Tabbem Ripvanbafpan created the Sunflower Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabbem Ripvanbafpan, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tabbem Ripvanbafpan, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tabbem Ripvanbafpan's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Tabbem Ripvanbafpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Always help sick eagles.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never look at dwarf planets.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.