Gatdognut Dibxucnart is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, stupid wasp.

Gatdognut Dibxucnart created Africa four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatdognut Dibxucnart, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gatdognut Dibxucnart, it will curse you with boils.

Gatdognut Dibxucnart's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Gatdognut Dibxucnart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Run away if four birds approach from the west.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always look after injured porpoises.