Fitranspag is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, self-assured fly.

Fitranspag created the planet Mars seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fitranspag, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fitranspag, he will turn you into a worm.

Fitranspag's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Fitranspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never think about gravity near mites while wearing brown skirts and balancing four titanium spheres on your legs.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Always wear white.

5. Never think about stars.