Vigpakjan is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, calm parrot.

Vigpakjan created energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vigpakjan, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vigpakjan, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Vigpakjan's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Vigpakjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about archaea.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Feed all hungry horses.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Always look after injured squirrels.