Vigloopbast is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, cheerful hamster.

Vigloopbast created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vigloopbast, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vigloopbast, she will make you grow a tail.

Vigloopbast's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Vigloopbast's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Vigloopbast on top of all buildings.

2. Always help mice.

3. Never bounce near ants.

4. Hide from white nematodes for they are unholy.

5. Bats are not to be trusted.