Yogzedjip is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, humorless bear.

Yogzedjip created bats seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogzedjip, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Yogzedjip, he will try to impress you with trees.

Yogzedjip's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yogzedjip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never feed garlic to aardvarks while wearing pink stockings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Pray towards the west.