Vogjanneg is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, proud shrew.

Vogjanneg created everything that exists six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogjanneg, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vogjanneg, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Vogjanneg's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Vogjanneg's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peanuts to hamsters while wearing scarves.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never hurt grasshopers.

5. Never think ill of sick snails.