Jinjonflatvagganpibnartflat is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, merciful raven.

Jinjonflatvagganpibnartflat created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jinjonflatvagganpibnartflat, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Jinjonflatvagganpibnartflat, he will turn you into a hamster.

Jinjonflatvagganpibnartflat's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Jinjonflatvagganpibnartflat's Holy Commandments

1. Jinjonflatvagganpibnartflat loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not kill birds.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.