Podtiflinfid is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, capable lobster.

Podtiflinfid created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Podtiflinfid, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Podtiflinfid, she will destroy your home solar system.

Podtiflinfid's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Podtiflinfid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never feed strawberries to pigs while wearing blue hats.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near voles while wearing mauve shorts.

5. Always help foxes in need.