Honfabgen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, omnipotent aardvark.

Honfabgen created dark energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Honfabgen, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Honfabgen, he will destroy your home solar system.

Honfabgen's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Honfabgen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near great tits while wearing white corsets and balancing nine platinum spheres on your face.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

5. Retreat if seven mites approach from the south.