Flaglunham is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, almighty tortoise.

Flaglunham created a Higgs boson eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flaglunham, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flaglunham, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Flaglunham's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Flaglunham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

2. Never talk about rats.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not drink water in blue rooms.