Vonmabmidmif is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, merciful salamander.

Vonmabmidmif created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonmabmidmif, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vonmabmidmif, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Vonmabmidmif's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Vonmabmidmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Never go into white rooms.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always help voles in need.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.