Vangudcit is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, annoying pigeon.

Vangudcit created Europe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vangudcit, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vangudcit, she will turn you into a tree.

Vangudcit's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Vangudcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of monkeys.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never paint your arms violet.

5. Never mention horses.