Nilxuctarg is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, astonishing parrot.

Nilxuctarg created a Higgs boson five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nilxuctarg, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nilxuctarg, she will turn you into a sheep.

Nilxuctarg's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Nilxuctarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never mention nematodes.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always stare at clouds.