Zimtitapp Tonkdabdap is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, wise eagle.

Zimtitapp Tonkdabdap created a quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimtitapp Tonkdabdap, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zimtitapp Tonkdabdap, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Zimtitapp Tonkdabdap's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Zimtitapp Tonkdabdap's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green shorts.

2. Never talk about optics near seals while wearing turquoise corsets.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.