Vildamnig is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, contented coyote.

Vildamnig created vertebrates four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vildamnig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vildamnig, he will turn you into a snail.

Vildamnig's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Vildamnig's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Vildamnig.

2. You must pray to Vildamnig five times a day.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Put Vildamnig first in all things.