Xinyokquat Gessquimomin is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, strong whale.

Xinyokquat Gessquimomin created snails three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xinyokquat Gessquimomin, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Xinyokquat Gessquimomin, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Xinyokquat Gessquimomin's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Xinyokquat Gessquimomin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never think ill of sick bats.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

5. Never sit in the presence of cats.