Zimfatshav is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, amazing cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Zimfatshav created the Milkyway three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimfatshav, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zimfatshav, it will turn you into a rock.

Zimfatshav's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Zimfatshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not wear fawn clothing.